Ants have invaded our backyard. I found this amazing ant killer. It's Bengal, so you know it's good. It completely kills the nest overnight. All you have to do is dust a little powder over the hill, and Wa-lah! No more ants. Supposedly. However, I think I have some kind of everlasting ant breed living in my backyard. Or maybe they just come back to life, not quite sure. Somehow days after their home has been demolished, they start building a new home a few feet away. In like 2 hours the hill is complete. And I'm talking about a mansion of an ant hill. I wouldn't be surprised if they got some kinda HDTV and a indoor swimming pool in that thing. It's that big. So, I drag out the powder and go after it again.
Well, today I noticed a new hill. My plan was to drop a little powder poison, and then take Caleb inside for his nap. Well, Caleb was not so happy about being asked to come inside. Poor kid didn't play outside at all yesterday and was in desperate need of some quality time in his Cozy Coupe. So, I sat my chair a few feet away from the poison covered ant hill and began reading my book.....
Five minutes later, out of the corner of my eye, I see little man sitting contentedly next to me. (See, I was so into my book that I sorta went brain dead on the whole poisoned-ant-mansion next to me.) Probably no more that 2 seconds went by as my brain registered that my child was sitting in an ant hill. Ahhhh! But not fast enough. (You know how when you are in a car wreck time seems to slow down and everything happens in slow motion. That is exactly what happened.) Caleb's chubby little fingers went straight into the white powder, slowly coming up, closer and closer to his face, and OH NO!!!!!!!! My child just stuck ant poison in his mouth!!!!! I jumped up, grabbed the kid, heart pounding. Heart literally about to jump out of my chest as I said "oh no oh no oh no" about a hundred times. I'm sweating. I'm holding back tears. I'm freaking out. I'm standing there thinking, "Is it possible that child services might take away my kid for poisoning him with ant killer and covering his helpless little body in ant bites?" I hoist him up, begin running frantically to the sink, swatting the hundreds of ants that I was sure were crawling all over my baby, biting him to pieces. I stick his entire body into the bathroom sink and turn on the cold water full blast. I begin scrubbing his legs, arms and face. Scooping water into his mouth. I hear little sounds coming from my baby. I'm sure he's about to die. These must be the last sounds he'll ever make. I'm positive that they're helpless, pitifull crying sounds.........Until, I turn down the water, glance at my child, dripping wet.....as he giggles at his crazy mommy.
Then I check his legs, which a few minutes ago I was sure were covered in hundreds of fire ants, only to find three tiny little bites. I check his mouth for signs of a rash and only see his seven shiny baby teeth. He laughs at me. My 14 month old toddler laughs at me. My heart begins to slow down, and all I can do is laugh right along with him. "Sorry Caleb, your mommy's a big dramatic."
No comments:
Post a Comment